This way to learn more about the Bach Flower Essences®

Q. Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather then briefs?
A. Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.

Q. What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A. Have sex once a year.

Q. What is a chastity belt?
A. A labor-saving device.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A. Childbirth.

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q. Does pregnancy affect a woman's memory?
A. I don't remember.

Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my feet
have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?

Q. What's the difference between a nine-months pregnant woman and a
Playboy centerfold?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

Q. What position should the baby be in during the ninth month or
pregnancy?
A. Head down, pressing firmly on your bladder.

Q. How do I know if my baby has dropped?
A. He/She will start crying. Be more careful!

Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says, divided by two.

Q. Does labor cause hemorrhoids?
A. Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

Q. What are the terrible twos?
A. Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.

Q. Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
A. Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.

Q. What happens to disposable diapers after they're thrown away?
A. They are stored in a silo in the midwest, in the event of global chemical warfare.

Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if your change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q. What causes baby blues?
A. Tanned, hard-bodied bombs.

Q. What is colic?
A. A reminder for new parents to use birth control.

Q. What are night terrors?
A. Frightening episodes in which the new mother dreams she's pregnant again.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and
act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.

 

Congratulations Enjoy Your Pregnancy